I didn’t realize it’s been over a month since I updated about Anna or my family, things have been hectic with Anna now home and new discoveries regarding my health.
Anna is doing wonderful. She now weighs 8lbs 9oz and is 21in long. I knew she was getting big, but she was only 7lbs and a few ounces last time she was weighed a couple of weeks ago and now she is almost 9lbs. I’m going to look into getting her ears pierced when she reaches 10lbs, but looking at her lobes now I may wait. They are small I want the expert to have more lobe to work with. We had to have Abbie’s pierced twice because the technician went in crooked on one of her ears. At that time I talked to the manager and we both agreed that it was due to a couple of reasons. 1. Abbie was so small, it might’ve been hard for the tech to get a good hold on to put the earring in straight. 2. Come to find out, the technician was new and probably nervous. 3. She was a baby, and no one wants to hurt a baby. This time, I’m going to let her get a bit bigger than her sister was and request the technician that has been piercing ears longer, pierce her ears.
I was admitted to the hospital… again… a couple of weeks ago. I was having a heart time breathing and had felt very fatigued for a week before. Bubba and Sissy took the kids that weekend and I decided to go on to the hospital and hope it was a quick fix. Hope being the key word. It was revealed that I have chronic congestive heart failure, which we knew I had chf, we just didn’t realize it was chronic. Of course, my blood pressure was high. I was short of breath due to pneumonia, the doctors gave me iv antibotics to ward it off. A nephrologist (kidney doctor) was called since I have Diabetes and other pre-existing conditions. He told me that my creatine level was 2.7 which is bad apparently. He said that I only have 20% kidney function. Kidney failure is 10% or less of your kidney function and you are put on dialysis. And as soon as I get some insurance issues resolved, I will be put on the pancreas/kidney transplant list. It can take 2 – 4 years before a donor can be found, but hopefully I can retain the function I have and maybe not have to reach dialysis before a match can be found.
It’s quite scary. My energy level on a scale of 1-10 is probably a 2. And that’s not convenient with 3 kids. I give them all I have though. I try to ask as if nothing is wrong, but children know. They are smarter than people think, and I don’t try to underestimate their knowledge. Nate will ask Tim, “is mommie sick?” when I go lay down to take a nap. “No, she’s not sick. Mommie is just tired.”, Tim will reply. And then Nate, with nothing but hope in his voice, hoping he can make Mommie all better, will ask “her need Dr. Pepper? Dr. Pepper make it all better?”. I will usually interject then and tell him, “yes. Dr. Pepper will make me feel all better. Can you help Daddy make me some?”. “Yeah! Come on Daddy!”, he will exclaim. Then they will go to the kitchen and fix me a glass of Diet Dr. P and Nate will carefully and gently bring it to the bed and say, “here Momma”, of course I take a drink and tell him that it made me feel better and I’ll ask him if I can take a nap. He’ll say, “yeah momma, you take nap,” he’ll gently close the door and tell everyone in the living room to “shhhhh, momma seepin”. He is such a sweet boy. Abbie is just as sweet. She will cuddle with me if I’m not feeling good. The couch is my friend and she will be playing, laughing, and bouncing around from room to room, when all of a sudden you realize it’s quiet. I will look in the direction of her room and I see her gigantic eyes peering over the arm of the couch at me. I ask her if she wants to sit with Mommie and she’ll hurry over and climb on the couch and sit beside me for what seems like hours but usually is 20 – 30 minutes.
These are the moments I cherish. This is the reason I blog. I want them to know how much I loved them after I’m gone. I want them to know that it’s the simple things they do that make me happy. They don’t have to be the best at anything to make me proud, they just have to be themselves.