Saturday, December 22, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Sunday we went to church for a Christmas program. I didn't realize they wouldn't have children's church so Abbie had to go with me to "big" church. She was impressive. She got a little antsy as most 4 years olds do especially when they are sitting in the same place for an hour. But I gave her a pen and a piece of paper and she kept herself entertained for a little while. It gave her break in the middle of the program. Nate and Anna stayed home. Nate didn't want to go which is o.k., I don't want to force him to go and make him hate when he gets older, although he will go when he gets older whether he wants to or not. And I'm still scared to take Anna out to public places... I got to thinking about it and the only place she really goes is to school. I'm just terrified of her getting sick and something happening to her. I almost lost her once and I don't want to go through that again. I am thankful for her health. She has had bronchitis once this season and she got a few colds last winter, but other than that, she has been healthy.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
On Saturday, we went with Emily and Bubba and her 3 children to Bass Pro Shop to see Santa. The time we waited (1.5 hours) was worth the 3 minutes Nate and Abbie spent to see him. It was crazy in there and I felt rushed by all the people around so I rushed Nate and Abbie. "sit down with Santa... ok... look at the camera... ok... tell Santa what you want... ok, let's go", We then went through Shadrach's Christmas Wonderland. It's a drive thru christmas lights show. We all piled in the van and it was beautiful. Lights every where and in tune with the music on the radio station and all in the comfort of our own vehicle. Nate and Abbie fell asleep on the way home and I reflected. I felt like I cheated them out of the experience with Santa. So I decided that on Sunday I would take them to the mall (early in the day) for them to see Santa.
That brings me to Sunday. We started off Sunday by going to church with my Dad. It's the church I grew up in. We went to Sunday school and then to "big church". We went Sunday night and Wednesday night. I griped about it when I was younger, and now I'm thankful. Church is something I want to get back into and take my kids to. It's a great support system and one that I want the kids to have. We went to eat with Grandad and GiGi afterwards and then off to the mall. We waited less than 5 minutes to see Santa and then there wasn't anyone waiting behind us so my kids talked to him and had pictures made without me barking in their ear that they needed to hurry. It was special and it taught me to slow down and just enjoy the moment so that my kids can enjoy the moment.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Today I am thankful for many things. But mostly I am thankful for the power of prayer. I'm thankful for everyone who believes in prayer and prayed for all of my children while they were in the hospital and sick. I'm thankful for 3 beautiful, bright, and healthy kids that will know they are miracles in this unfair and sometimes cruel world. That they are lights at the end of the tunnel.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Saturday I was thankful for Black Friday sales. I did all of my "Santa" shopping online, but I took advantage of the sales on Saturday and Sunday. I got a lot of things for me without spending a lot of money. I got new shoes and a couple of sweaters. I was surprised at my choices. I usually wear a lot of black and although my shoes are tan, a nice neutral color, the sweaters I bought were pink and bright blue. Maybe I'm coming out of my shell.
Sunday I was thankful for my new found energy and time with my kids. I took Nate and Abbie to the mall to the indoor playground they have. We went shopping before hand which they allowed with the promise of playing on the playground when I finished. It felt good to be able to walk and shop and then take them there and not be overly tired as soon as we stepped in the designated area. I haven't been able to do that in such a long time. I look forward to more days like that.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday... if you couldn't tell by my previous post.. I am thankful for precious Annaboo and being able to have a happy celebration for her 2nd Birthday. We weren't sure if she was going to have one birthday to celebrate happily and now she has had 2. She is an amazing little girl and I am thankful to be able to celebrate each of her milestones with her.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Emily stayed the night with me that night along with another nurse. I was swollen and had many episodes of low blood sugar that it was decided I needed a round the clock watch from a nurse. And when I say episodes, I'm talking all out seizures, falling in the floor, close to death episodes. I woke up numerous times in the night needing to sit up because I was having a hard time breathing and I would cough up fluid. I remember waking up to my morning nurse coming in to check my vital signs about 8am. Emily had already left by then to go home and take care of her babies. I started coughing and she witnessed first hand the fluid coming up. I knew something was up, she was waaaaayyyyy to calm in telling me she was going to call the doctor and he would probably order a chest x-ray. It was like she was trying to keep calm. And it wasn't 15 minutes later that the x-ray technician was there with a portable machine taking an x-ray. My worst thought was that he was going to order more IV medication. And I was already on soooooo much. I remember I was sitting up on the bed, flipping through channels. My nurse came in with my doctor and she started rubbing my back as Dr. Collins told me that the x-ray showed fluids being filtered in my lungs. He said that my kidneys were failing and my body couldn't hold anymore fluid and that based on my vitals, blood work, and the x-ray, it was in my best interest and Anna's that she be delivered. I called friends and family to come. At 10am I was being prepped for surgery. Surgery started at 10:55am, I remember looking at the clock on the wall and staring at it for what seemed like eternity and they announced her time of birth at 11:11am. I've always thought that if you made a wish when the clock turned 11:11, it would come true and I remember wishing and praying and hoping that Anna would be fine.
I wasn't even sure what to name Anna when she was born. I thought I had more time and then she was here. I never thought I would have a 1lb 14oz 13in baby. But she was the most precious 1lb baby and today she is the most precious 2 year old. She is talking so much. When we call her name, she will call back "what?" with an attitude. She says Hehwoah, Bye-yeeee, yahhh (yeah), Nate, Abbie, Popper (Copper), wedy (ready), Daaadddeeee, (Daddy), Momma, Yan (Gran), Yandat (Grand Dad), and YiYi (GiGi). She tells me when she's "thewty" (thirsty), and she says "no" clear as day. She babbles and loves to laugh. And she loves to make others laugh. She blows kisses and is such a cuddle bug. She loves to be held and loves to eat. She is amazing.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Today after a super scary trip to the ER i think we will be thankful for the amazing power and healing abilities of Music. That's right whether you like the smooth sound of sweet ambient beauty or the screaming guitar of some classic rock music is always there to change or enhance your mood. Think about it, what is as therapeutic as sitting down after a long day and popping on some headphones or ear buds and just cranking your favorite playlist. I know that's what I'm doing right this minute as I'm typing this out. I encourage everyone to sit down one day/night and just dig through all that music and start organizing to fit your moods. You can thank me later for such an awesome idea.....its ok....go on......go ahead stop reading this and go jam.
Seriously you are still reading?..................I'm so done with you people. Much love and Traci will be back tomorrow.
Today i am thankful for anesthesia! Seriously who ever came up with this idea should be nominated for sainthood. Some of the most amazing things have happened to Traci and I while she has been under. Example time!!!
The babies first and foremost. All 3 have been delivered via emergency C-sections. And up to this point in our lives they are quite possibly the greatest blessing we have.
Traci's new best friend Frank! The kidney most generously donated to Traci by her mother Tina. A life saving/changing gift received while knocked out.
And lastly the many ports Traci has needed to keep the healing process moving along, they are vast and inconvenient but she needs them and she wasn't awake for them.
So as you see we have been very blessed by Saint Anesthesia. This healing process is going to take more time than we expected but we are ready to tackle it. With God and Saint Anesthesia as my witness we will survive. Amen go Vols.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The most memorable thing I remember about Abbie is my constant craving for all things strawberry flavored even though I hate strawberry flavored anything. I wanted strawberry milkshakes, strawberry icecream, strawberry lemonade, if strawberry could be added to it, then I wanted it. And my craving for banana laffytaffy. I couldn't get enough. I even had a friend who went to the lake for the weekend and the store near her carried banana laffytaffy and she bought me all they had and I ate it within a few minutes.
With Anna I knew she was going to be my last so I savored every moment, but the best were when I was home with Nate and Abbie. We would go outside and play and it was nice just us "4".
Now that they are growing and becoming little people with big personalities, I enjoy them even more. They love each other very much and get along. Nate loves to chase Anna and make her laugh. Abbie loves to play Dr. Abbie and make Nate and Anna's booboos all better. Anna loves to watch Nate and Abbie's eyes light up when she says their names. They are so much fun and I'm proud that God saw fit that they call me Mom.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
We arrived at the hospital at 5am and waited for about 30 minutes and then we were taken to the surgical floor where we began prepping for surgery. We were put in the same room and changed into our fashionable hospital gowns and given an IV. I was anxious, I wanted to get it over with. I was ready. It was time and whatever was going to happen, was going to happen. There wasn't anything I could do to change anything at that point. My Mom was scared, nervous, and anxious as well. I was scared for her. There were a lot of mixed emotions. We were both scared for each other, but at the same time, I knew she wouldn't have it any other way. Her surgery was to start at 7:30am and mine was to start at 9:30am. She said goodbye to me and they wheeled her away. I took a deep breath and silently prayed for God to take care of her and keep her safe.
My dad was the first to arrive as far as visitors. He got there about 6:30am and was brought on back to me. I was glad he was there. Tim had texted me and said he was on the way at that point, but he didn't get there til about 7:45am. My Dad held my hand while they put the IV in my hand. He talked to me and tried to get my mind off the pain and oh. my. was there pain. That was the worst part of the whole thing. My Step-Mom came in after that. Then Tim and Emily showed up. I was so glad to see my loving family. I didn't cry at all, I was ready. I had done all my crying the day before and now it was time for positive energy. At 9:30am, on the dot, nurses and doctors came in and gave me anesthesia and I said "goodbye" to them. Gave them all hugs and told them I would see them in a little while. They wheeled me out to the hallway, I told the anesthesiologist that I thought the medicine was working and that's all I remember. I woke up at 2:30pm feeling awesome. I hadn't felt that good since before Nate was born. It was amazing.
Tim was there and I was beaming. I was awake. And I was in too much pain for it to be heaven so I knew I survived. I asked about my Mom and they pulled back our curtains and she was asleep. The nurse told me that she was brought back at about 12:00pm and I was brought back at about 12:30pm. The surgery was successful. They told me that the kidney started working immediately. PRAISE JESUS! I was ecstatic. and hungry. Tim stayed with me for a little while and then he had to go and pick up Nate and Abbie. Anna stayed with Marlee until Wednesday afternoon. My Dad came in when he left and talked with me for awhile. And then Emily came back. Emily went and talked with my Mom for a minute. My aunt and uncle (my Mom's brother and sister) came in to see her. The only thing we were waiting on was a room. It was about 4:30pm and I was hungry so my nurse told me he would order a tray or that I could have one of my family members go get me something so Emily took off to Subway. While she went to get me something to eat, my Dad came back again. He stayed with me until she came back. All the nurses were walking by and staring at me and I figured it was because they were hungry and here I was eating Subway in front of them. I felt bad and put it away until my nurse explained to me that they were staring because they've never seen a patient eat anything a couple of hours after surgery. They were staring because they were in shock. But I was hungry and I wanted to eat so I did. My Step-Mom stayed in the waiting area until I was taken to my room. I got my room and everyone stayed for a little while longer and then left. I was o.k. with that. I was really tired and wanted to get some sleep.
It was an hour after they left when my cousin Jason arrived. I haven't talked to him in a year or so and I was so very happy to see him. I felt the love that had being pouring out all day long. Not just from Jason, but from everyone... family, friends, strangers, facebook peeps, everyone. I could feel God's presence and it was amazing. God has truly blessed me and I give him all the praise. I thank him everyday for an amazing angel that I call "Momma". For 3 beautiful children. For my blessed life. My testimony is so strong and I don't know how you can know me and my family and not believe in a bigger being than yourself. I have always said that my children are miracles, but looking at it, so am I.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
It's funny. I keep replaying an episode of "Golden Girls" in my head. It's the one where Sophia answers a newspaper ad for a man seeking woman. And when he (Marvin) comes to meet Sophia, he brings along his "sister". Turns out that the "sister" was Marvin's dying wife and she couldn't die peacefully until she knew that Marvin had someone else which is where Sophia came in. Skip to the end, the wife ends up understanding that Marvin didn't need someone else to take her place and Sophia continues living with the girls. I used to think that was weird, finding a new wife for your husband when your not gone yet. But now I find that I ask myself if I were to die and Tim remarry would "she" be a good replacement. She being anyone I meet in passing, old girlfriends of Tim's, women I've known for years, tv characters, celebrities, any female really. I don't discuss this AT. ALL. but this goes through my mind.
I've got a lot that I want to do with the kids in these 2 weeks. Hopefully we can fit it all in. I'm going to break my back and make sure that we can. And take tons of pictures. TONS.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
I'm officially on the kidney transplant list at Vanderbilt Hospital. I've been approved for a couple of months now and my Mom was approved as a donor for me a few weeks later so we have scheduled transplant surgery for August 14th. I will receive her left kidney. Although this is good news it's also scary news. I'm excited about receiving a kidney in a couple of months, but nervous that something goes wrong and I die? Or my Mom dies? Or we both die? I'm not trying to be negative nancy, I'm trying to prepare myself for anything and everything that could go wrong. What if the kidney doesn't work? What if the kidney she gives me is fine, but the one she has is bad? or goes bad? What if the antirejection medications don't work? what if I reject the antirejection medications?
There is so much that I want my kids to know and I don't know that I can blog about everything before surgery. I want them to know me. I want them to be able to turn to the blog and read what I'm not able to say to them. I want them to know me. Know the things I did when I was a teenager that they better not EVER do. I want them to know that I love them especially when they feel that the entire world is against them. I want them to know that their Dad and I aren't just their parents, but we are human too and understand them better than they think. I want them to know that they won't have any better friends than each other. Regardless of how much they annoy each other, they will always be there. Friends come and go, but family stays by you. Some friends can become like family, I have friends that are more like sisters than they are friends. Lindsey and Amanda.
You will know these women. They are the next best thing to me. They have stories they can tell you about me that you will find funny. They will be able to tell you how much I love you and give you hugs and kisses when you need them. Bubba will have stories for you too. He'll be the one you will call if you find yourself in a situation that you want to get out of, imagine... you're at a party with alcohol and drugs. You want to leave, but the person you came with is nowhere to be found or they are drunk or high or whatever... maybe you just want to leave. Call Bubba. You get drunk and are in jail (NEVER. EVER. DRINK. AND. DRIVE. I WILL HAUUUUUUUNT YOU!!!!) due to public intoxication and made a fool out of yourself in someone's yard and their neighbor called the police, you would call Bubba. You have rearended someone and can't reach your dad... call bubba. You get the picture?? GOOD
I Love You To the Moon and Back <3
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
There was this one time when we were outside and they were running around, chasing each other, playing cowboys and indians. I wanted to play and they weren't letting me... so what did I do? I told Grandmomma and all she had to say was "Y'ALL GO OUTSIDE!! AND LET THAT BABY PLAY!!", that baby being me. So they obliged because the last thing we wanted to do if go inside and watch Grandmomma's shows with her (soap operas). They told me to stand in front of the big tree that was in Grandmomma's front yard. They grabbed a rope and each had one end and started running in opposite directions around the tree. I, not being the sharpest tool in the shed, didn't realize they were tying me to the tree until they were tying the knot in the rope. I was squirming to get out when Lance pulled out a book of matches and they were lighting them and throwing them at my feet. My cousins were trying to set me on fire! It didn't work because the fire would blow out as they threw the matches on the ground. (Thank the Lord) My saving grace was Junior, my aunt's (Lance's Mom) boyfriend came over and made them turn me loose.
There are many stories I could tell of me and my cousins, but this is one of my favorites.
Monday, January 2, 2012
I love the song “Dirt Road Anthem” by Jason Aldean. It makes me nostalgic. I was in the car with my mom the other day when it came on the radio and I was taken back to a night that was quite eventful.
I was with 2 of my girlfriends and we went over to another one of our friend’s house for a bonfire. The best things about growing up in a small, southern town are country sides, bonfire parties, and pickup trucks… and the southern gentlemen or as I like to call ‘em… country boys. There were quite a bunch of people there and we were all drinkin’. I think I was 18 or 19. Well, we didn’t know it… but the parents of the guy’s house we were at had called the police. Apparently they said we could have a party, but no alcohol… so when they found out about the alcohol, the police was called. We all were drinkin’ and when the police showed up they pulled 3 or 4 at a time and asked if we had been drinkin’. Those over 21 admitted to it. Those under 21 (myself included) had no choice but to lie. I must not have been believable. The police officer shined his big, bright flashlight in my eyes. All I could think was how mad my mom was going to be. I was praying in my mind, “Please don’t make me call my mom. She will kill me and isn’t that a worse sin than drinking under age?” But all he said was to go home. A couple of our friends that were 21 got arrested. My friend and I hurried out of there and went to her house to watch movies.
We got a call about 2 or 3 in the mornin’. It was those friends that were arrested wanting us to come get them. Hahahahaha… I wasn’t leaving, but my friend did and went and got them and brought them back where we stayed up and watched movies all night. It was scary, but so. much. fun.
That was only one of a ton of nights of fun I had as a teenager.