November 9, 2012

I have been debating on what I should write for what I am thankful for today and I decided that I am thankful that I am able to be thankful and write about it. I am thankful for my freedom and the people who fight for it. My brother especially. My brother joined the National Guard in January of this year for reasons I can't begin to understand, but I am proud of him nonetheless. He is my hero and my inspiration. If you don't know, for the past 6 years I have been incredibly sick. With different things... Diabetes. Pregnancies. Congestive heart failure. High blood pressure. End stage renal disease (kidney failure). Gastroparesis. Finally I had a kidney transplant and it was discovered that I have autonomic dysfunction which is a fancy schmancy word for nerve damage to the blood vessels and that causes orthostatic blood pressure (low blood pressure when you stand). I can't win for losing when it comes to the blood pressure battle. Anyway, I'm not writing to talk about what is wrong with me... I'm writing to say that through all of this, my brother went and accomplished something he has wanted to and that inspired me to pursue getting my manicurist license.

People say I have more than enough reason to feel sorry for myself, but if my brother can go and define bravery (refer to pic) then I can get up and finish what I started 2 years ago. And I did. With Bubba's encouragement, I studied my arse off and passed my theory and a month later, I passed my practical making me a licensed manicurist in the state of Tennessee. He has given me the strength to get up and live. He has shown me that to live in this great nation and feel sorry for myself is not only disrespectful to all the men and women who have given up so much so that they can fight for my freedom, but a waste of time. Time that so many who are far worse off than I am would give anything to have. So I live each day to the fullest. I may not spend my day skydiving or bungee jumping. Or traveling to far off lands. Or white water rafting, kayaking, or hiking the Grand Canyon, but I live it to the fullest for me. I get up and shower. I sweep the floors. I bake cookies for my children. I cut endless amounts of felt and glue my fingers together with hot glue to make my children a felt christmas tree and ornaments that they will be able to decorate as much as they want this season. I don't have any expectations of myself so the little things are HUGE accomplishments and while it is completely o.k.for me not to do anything, because let's face it, if you know me, you know going to the bathroom is an accomplishment for me, you also know, I'm not going to let me freedom go to waste because so many are fighting so that I can have it. I love my Bubba. He is my true hero and I'm honored that I call him my honest to God brother.