Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I wonder...

We all know about those websites that you can visit when your pregnant to find out info about your baby. They tell you what week you're in, how the baby is doing, how he/she is growing, what kind of mood your loved ones can expect you to be in, and how you are probably feeling as your belly expands. I try not to check those and I've done really well until my interest was perked realizing that it's been 3 months since my procedure and 3 months until my due date. I found out that right about now I would be in nesting mode. I found this interesting because I am in nesting mode. I've been cleaning my house like crazy. Going thru boxes, throwing tons of trash away, getting the babies clothes together to either donate or pass onto friends. I've been itching to clean out my garage. And when one of my favorite pregnancy websites said I was to be nesting it made me wonder if I was nesting. Is my mind still in preggo mode and I'm acting as if I'm still pregnant? Probably not. I've always been crazy about my house being, in the least, picked up. I like to be organized, I always have. And with the holidays around the corner, it would make sense that everything should be cleaned out. I mean, I need some place to put new toys and clothes. But there is a part of me that thinks that the procedure was a dream and that I'm still pregnant with Baby Boo. And then my fantasy is interrupted with reality after only a split second of imagining. It's ok though, my reality is one day I'll be in heaven with my baby and for now I'm enjoying my babies here on earth.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fight For Preemies

I have seen 2 sides of the NICU. I have seen the bright side, where my baby although was born early, was born healthy enough to go home after a few light treatments for jaundice. I also saw the scary side, where my baby was born too early and struggled with things that we do unconsciously, such as breathing. Her organs weren't developed enough to handle milk that I had nursed, she received nutrients through an IV with a fluid called TPN. The NICU had to special order her diapers because the preemie sized were too big. I saw my baby fight for her life from the get go. We are so blessed to have our daughter home and healthy. Bright eyed with a smile that would melt a heart made of stone, many parents aren't as lucky. Many parents see 'prematurity' listed as one of the primary reasons of death on the death certificate of their child.

No parent, no mother, no family should have to endure the pain and heartache of having a premature baby. No child should have to fight for their life. We all deserve to have a healthy baby and a healthy start.

I recently found out that more than half of premature births, the doctors have no idea what happened. With Nate, I developed preaclampsia. With Abby, no clue... and I didnt go into labor, I didn't develop preaclampsia, my body simply couldn't handle being pregnant and the doctors don't know why and couldn't stop it.

Premature birth jeopardizes the lives and health of nearly half-million babies each year. It is the #1 killer of newborns and can lead to lifelong disabilities. Worse: the number has increased 31 percent since 1981. That's scary. With all the medical advances we have made since 1981, we can't seem to decrease the number of premature births in America.

That's why it's up to us... The parents... the people who have been affected by a child born too soon to fight. So that the ones who haven't been affected, aren't. Educate yourself if you are an expecting parent. Don't go into your pregnancy blindly, hanging on every word of your doctor. Knowledge is power and you are in control of your life and your babies life.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I am excited about the upcoming holidays. I love the food on Thanksgiving and we have been invited to a friend's house. This friend is 1 of my best friends out of the 2 best friends that I have. She has a huge family that have adopted me and my family as one of their own. They spend the day before Thanksgiving cooking. Literally, all day. They start at 10am and usually aren't done until 8 or 9pm. I have heard stories of this day, but this year I get to participate and help cook. I'm not sure how that is going to go over in a kitchen already filled with 4 women. I'll probably entertain the kids so that they can cook. And then Thursday you get to endulge in the product that was produced on Wednesday. And I have been over for Thanksgiving before and OMG the food is amazing.

The most fun for me, though, is the time together spent cooking. My family is a bit seperated. My Dad's Thanksgiving will be on Wednesday. We are to be there at 7pm. But that's when the food is ready. If you ask about being their earlier to help he'll say you can come, but that he doesn't need help. Which is true. Last year, when we arrived about an hour before the food was ready, my stepsisters were in the kitchen helping. And it became awkward when I went into the kitchen. So I left the room, I didn't want the awkward tension to reflect in the food.

My Mom's Thanksgiving consists of Thanksgiving breakfast at my house. She gets up early and fixes breakfast for my brother and my family. She cooks breakfast, because she goes to her boyfriend's house about 2pm to cook Thanksgiving for them and her boyfriend's son. We aren't ever invited, not that we would want to go because my brother and I aren't fans of him. But considering she has always put other people before her and her family, this isn't a shock. This was also the way Thanksgiving happened last year.

I'm not complaining by any means, at least I have a family. But it just amazes me how a friend's family is more of my family than my own family is. I feel out of place and awkward at my Dad's and nothing special at my Mom's and I'm excited about Amanda's. Shouldn't it be reversed?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Where Has The Time Gone?

It feels like forever since I've blogged. But I honestly don't have time anymore. I work Friday thru Tuesday from 10pm - 630am and I go to school Tuesday thru Friday from 8:30am - 4:30pm. When I get home, all I want to do is spend time with Nate and Abby and go to bed. I've even found myself going to bed before them. But I'm enjoying keeping myself busy. I've also made some great friends at school that have indirectly helped me cope. I don't put my personal life out there. I talk to everyone about personal experiences that pertain to the topic, but I don't start a conversation. I join into conversations that are already taking place. There have been a few that have experienced miscarriages and listening to them talk about their situation and how they have coped has helped me.

Nate and Abby are doing great. We went trick or treating on Halloween. We didn't go to any houses. Our church put on a trunk and treat in the parking lot. That's where members decorate the trunk of their car's and pass out candy to everyone who comes by. Same concept as trick or treating but a lot less walking. It was best for us seeing it was almost freezing Halloween. They dressed up as a Titan football player and cheerleader. They were too cute. I don't have pics downloaded yet, but I will.

Abby is now walking. It's too cute because she is still really wobbly. We are still working with a therapist on her motor skills. Nate is talking up a storm now and it's wonderful. They are growing up so fast. Abby is also showing a speech delay, she will be attending the Child Development Center starting February.

I'm excited with the holidays coming up. I've got almost all of the family taken care of as far as gifts, I just need to buy for Nate and Abby. I have a list of what I want to get them, this way I can buy for them a little at a time. We've bought their big gift from Santa, now it's just getting the odd and end pieces.

That's the gist of what's been happening around here. Not too much outside of school and work, just spending time with my family... watching the babies grow up.